Self-love in the middle of overload
The release of the E files was more than a lot of information - it’s been a massive battery of utterly vile low frequency energy. What I’ve been sensing in myself and clients is a layer of biofilm (slime!) in the collective that we just gotta metabolize.
If you’re sensitive, you might be feeling this as: heaviness, fatigue, headaches, low mood, negative thinking cycles, and even illness.
In typical canary-in-the-coal-mine fashion, I had nightmares for a week in advance of the release. (When the info landed, I was actually SO relieved to have an explanation!)
As we close out this Wood Snake year, this event is also a magnet for buried psychic content to emerge. If we haven’t experienced physical or sexual abuse in this lifetime, someone in our lineage has, so this lives in our genetic reservoir and can be triggered.
While I've known about this information for a decade, I’ve mostly held the information quietly, as I know it's incomprehensible and too much for most people to handle. Not everyone is ready for the truth, and that's ok - I know firsthand what it feels like to have your world up-ended. It's truly destabilizing. (However, if some of you want to know more about the truth - feel free to reach out.)
In the meantime, there's no time like the present to enlist in some good self care. For me too, as this latest wave put me in a bit of spiritual warrior burn out.
The timing is also appropriate with Valentine’s (and Galentine’s!) on the horizon, to talk about the single most important ingredient in healing:
Self-love!
Because when the collective field is charged, what can erode first is your relationship with yourself.
Here’s a quick self-love audit.
Read through these and answer honestly: yes or no.
Rest is earned, never inherent - and you feel guilty when you’re not productive
You don't celebrate wins, you immediately move the bar to the next thing
You heavily identify with your work, and your creativity is lacking
Your sense of worthiness is related to external accomplishments (and ticking off all those to-dos on the list!)
Your default is to scan for what’s wrong and needs fixing rather than resting in what is right
You treat your body like a project
You compare yourself to others
You are more attuned to others’ needs than your own
Physical symptoms or discomfort MUST mean something is wrong
The focus tends to be external: “If I get that / do that then I will be…”
You feel safe when you are in control and when you have a plan
You are not good at receiving…even the compliments
If you answered yes to six or more, this shows how much of your life force is being spent in self-correction instead of self-acceptance. (This is for awareness, not to create another project)
Self-acceptance grows from self-love.
When you don’t accept yourself, you are in a tug-of-war on the inside. You are out of tune with your body and your needs, and this keep unhealthy patterns alive.
In practice, I see this again and again:
When you accept who you are and where you are - truly - things begin to shift. Better energy. Clearer mind. More stable moods. Less internal friction. This is becasue your life force is freed up for self healing.
So how do you love yourself, even when you were raised by people who did not love themselves - so there's literally been no mapping for it?
You train. Just like exercise. You make the conscious deliberate decision to choose to love yourself.
You notice the negative thoughts and breathe yourself back to center. You connect with the Divine and ask God for help.
You fill yourself up - self-care becomes an act of self-love.
You listen to your body. You ALLOW yourself to move more slowly. You dedicate one day each week to being slow and healing.
You smell roses. You eat an orange. You drink cacao - these three plant spirits that have shown themselves personally and in session over the past decade as healing support for: connection the Divine Feminine, beneficial heart medicine and for re-mothering.
You spend time in nature soaking it up.
You connect with friends - even when your trauma mapping makes that difficult.
My self-love challenge for us all:
Write 11 things you love about yourself each day for the next 11 days.
You may be surprised by what shifts. Drop me a note.
I will soon be stepping out of warrior mode for 3 glorious panchakarma filled weeks in Kerala, India. Warm weather and healing in full effect.
In the meantime,
Metabolize. Slow down. Choose love.
Dr. Marie